Everyone lies and keeps secrets from others to some extent, no matter how much they trust them. It’s simply what people do. That being said, there is a huge gap between basic privacy, harmless white lies, and positive secrets versus intentionally hiding truly emotionally devastating facts that could turn your entire relationship upside down.

Today, we’re examining some of the best and worst secrets that internet users have kept from their significant others, as shared in a couple of online threads. These are things they hope their partners will never, ever find out, whether for good or for ill. Scroll down below for their anonymous confessions.

#1

She broke her brand new laptop’s display and told me to get it repaired if it costs under a hundred bucks because she is in the process of moving and therefore doesn’t have too much money at the moment. I knew from the start it would cost more. She was so sad and disappointed in herself that she broke it just 2 months after buying it. I wanted to do something about it, but i knew she would never let me pay it for her. So i brought it home, got it repaired for 200 and told her the bill was 80. I normally never lie to her so it feels weird, but she is happy so i’m happy.

#2

My sophmore year of college my dad changed his mind about helping me go to school (tuition, books, rent, etc.) 3 days before classes started. I was 19 with a part time job and his solution was to just take the money from my savings which, didn’t even come close to covering it. I used a connection I had to get a job as a cocktail waitress at a strip club for the next year but I also called up an older, married guy who had been pursing me and used him as a sugar daddy to get on my feet. My SO knows I worked as a cocktail waitress but I can never tell him the rest. I’ve never really told anyone because even though I found a way to make it when didn’t have a lot of choices I’m still not proud of it.

#3

She is in Italy living abroad for 3 months, so we are doing LDR.

I am keeping a journal where I write a page every day about her (what I love about her, what I think about her, memories we’ve shared, times I was thinking about her)… She doesn’t know, but she does know there is some surprise that she will get… I haven’t told her anything about it and I’m really excited

It’s really hard to write when we are in an argument (please don’t argue over text, it only makes things worse), but it’s also really good because it makes me more mindful and requires me to change my perspective of situations constantly.

I love her.

#4

A few years ago I had a full on nervous breakdown and did some really bad s**t.

I didn’t hit rock bottom, I went straight through the f****r and entered the seventh circle of hell.

After the event I ended up have 3 years of one to one and group therapy.

My secret is that none of it worked. I’m as scared, lonely and as f****d up as I was before the breakdown, all the group and one to one therapy has done is taught me to hide it better and keep the distress under control.

Everyone thinks I’m happy and never been better..

#5

The only secret is a surprise 2-week trip to the UK I’m planning for the two of us – something my SO has dreamed of doing for a long time.

#6

I secretly love when he has to travel for work.

Not because I like him being gone, but because those 1-2 days apart gives us both a chance to reset and love each other that much more when he gets back. And the kids listen better when it’s just me.

On the flip side, secrecy is very much intentional. At its core, it involves hiding or withholding information from your significant other because you believe revealing the information could have big consequences. “Secrecy is a toxic relationship behavior that can cause serious harm to the health of your relationship.”

Some examples of secrecy look like this:

1. Lying about your finances, debt, or spending habits;
2. Making big financial decisions without your partner;
3. Lying about your job or career path;
4. Hiding the truth of your relationships with friends, colleagues, and ex-partners;
5. Hiding addictions;
6. Flirting with other people (unless this is something you’ve agreed to do with your partner);
7. Hiding parts of your health history that might impact your partner.

#7

That I used to pretend to have conversations with people on the phone. I just wanted him to think I had more friends than I really did and that I was cool.

God dammit now I sound crazy.

#8

It bugs me that our dog prefers her. If it’s the two of us in the lounge, she’ll always go lay her head on my girlfriends lap. I bet she keeps snacks in her trousers. That’s got to be it.

#9

I lost almost all feelings for him at one point and was considering breaking up with him, but stuck around. Best d**n decision of my life to stick around.